...And we're back

If I never have to drive on I-81 again, I will be a happy guy. You know it will be a boring drive when Yahoo! Maps say "Drive 391.8 miles" on the same road.

On the other hand, iPhones are way cool.

Merry Christmas

See you in a week or so.

How to Build an Ice Rink

Very cool video from NHL.tv on the construction of the ice rink in Wrigley Field for the Winter Classic on New Year's Day, featuring the Chicago Blackhawks and the Detroit Red Wings.

Digital TV - An Easy Flowchart

h/t to Consumerist for the handy-dandy flowchart on whether you need to do anything to your TV for the digital conversion upcoming on Feb. 17th.

Wait a minute - Was George Bailey a Sub-Prime Lender???

Portofilo Magazine posits an interesting question - was George Bailey of "It's A Wonderful LIfe" a sub-prime lender? Was Mr. Potter really the good guy, trying to prevent the mortgage crisis?

One example Portofilo cites makes me think maybe, just maybe, Potter knew something..

POTTER

Peter Bailey was not a businessman. That's what killed him. Oh, I don't mean any disrespect to him, God rest his soul. He was a man of high ideals, so-called, but ideals without common sense can ruin this town. (Picking up papers from table.) Now, you take this loan here to Ernie Bishop...You know, that fellow that sits around all day on his brains in his taxi. You know...I happen to know the bank turned down this loan, but he comes here and we're building him a house worth five thousand dollars. Why?

GEORGE

Well, I handled that, Mr. Potter. You have all the papers there. His salary, insurance. I can personally vouch for his character.

POTTER

(Sarcastically) A friend of yours?

GEORGE

Yes, sir.

POTTER

You see, if you shoot pool with some employee here, you can come and borrow money. What does that get us? A discontented, lazy rabble instead of a thrifty working class. And all because a few starry-eyed dreamers like Peter Bailey stir them up and fill their heads with a lot of impossible ideas. Now, I say...

O.K., so Potter wasn't right. Affordable housing helped create the middle class, and one could even argue that the G.I. Bill after WWII helped create the modern suburb.

Still, making loans to those that can't afford them is never sound policy.

"Do They Know It's Christmas?" No, and they don't care. And shouldn't have to.

Now’s the time of year when I live up to the tag line “Not as nice as I seem in person.” I’m a child of the 1980s. And we’re supposed to hold a few things sacred, I guess. Like “Just Say No.” And “The Cosby Show.” And “Live Aid.” And “Do They Know It’s Christmas.” Well, I never bought it. “Just Say No” has costs us billions and is doesn’t work. From Alternet.org:

A new survey reveals 13% of 10th-graders reported smoking marijuana in the past 30 days, while just 12.3% smoked cigarettes.

I never knew ANYONE like I saw on “the Cosby Show.” And I don’t mean influential African-Americans. I mean ANYBODY. My family trends toward the redneck side of things, and so did most of my friends. Living in a brownstone in the city with two parents that graduated from graduate schools? Not in my realm. I’ll pass. 

“Live Aid?” I waited 6 months from when it was announced until the show for two things – Black Sabbath and Led Zeppelin. Black Sabbath ended up going waaaay too early in the day and I missed it. Led Zep? Yeah, whoever was in charge of tuning Jimmy’s guitar must have slept in that day, because, well, it wasn’t. We’re not talking a little out of tune. We’re talking “looking at the neck because I can’t believe how badly this is out of tune” out of tune. It was so bad, to this day, on any Live Aid compilation, you won’t find their tracks. It will never happen, because Robert Plant won’t sign the releases. That’s how out of tune Jimmy’s guitar was. And don’t get me started on Phil Collins getting all the credit for drumming when Tony Thompson of Chic and Power Station was doing all the heavy lifting. Phil was just hitting one cymbal back there. 

But let’s get to the real reason for this post – the utter ridiculousness that is “Do They Know It’s Christmas?” First, a refresher from Wikipedia.org

"Do They Know It's Christmas?" is a song written by Bob Geldof and Midge Ure in 1984 specifically to raise money for relief of 1984–1985 famine in Ethiopia. The original version was produced by Midge Ure, and released by Band Aid on November 29, 1984.[1] In late 1984, a BBC report by Michael Buerk was aired highlighting the famine that had hit the people of Ethiopia. Irish singer Bob Geldof had seen the report and, being a social person, wanted to raise money. Aware that he could do little on his own, he called Midge Ure from Ultravox and together they quickly co-wrote the song, "Do They Know It's Christmas?".

Geldof kept a November appointment with BBC Radio 1 DJ Richard Skinner to appear on his show, but instead of discussing his new album (the original reason for his booking), he used his airtime to publicise the idea for the charity single, so by the time the musicians were recruited there was intense media interest in the subject. 

Sounds all wonderful, right? And the money did go to charity, and did start the ball rolling for Live Aid in 1985.  But have you ever actually listened to the lyrics? They are the worst sort of European egocentric imperialist tripe you can imagine. Let’s turn the way-back machine on and remember, shall we?

It's Christmas time There's no need to be afraid At Christmas time, we let in light and we banish shade And in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy

OK, so far, so good. It’s not Shakepeare, but nothing offensive.

Throw your arms around the world at Christmas time But say a prayer Pray for the other ones At Christmas time it's hard, but when you're having fun

Huh? What in the world is THAT supposed to mean? It’s hard to pray for people at Christmas because we’re having so much fun? Seems to me, that’s when most midly-religious people do the most praying.

There's a world outside your window And it's a world of dread and fear

Really? All of it? So the only place worth living is Europe? I’m sure there are some happy people in Papau New Guinea, even without running water and electricity.

Where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears And the Christmas bells that ring there Are the clanging chimes of doom Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you

Where to start? First off, we’re to assume they’re talking about Africa, since that’s where the money raised went. Do we really think there ARE Christmas bells in Africa? Want to guess what the largest organized religion in northern and central Africa is? Go Google it up, we’ll get back to that. And don’t get me started on “Thank God it’s them, instead of you”. I‘m supposed to THANK God for someone else’s misery? Like, if they’re miserable, that means I’m not? Where’s the logic there? There’s only so much misery to go around, and if you have some, that’s less for me?

And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time

When is there EVER snow in Africa? Oh, that’s right, every year. 

The greatest gift they'll get this year is life (Oooh) Where nothing ever grows No rain nor rivers flow Do they know it's Christmas time at all

I sooooo want to channel Sam Kinison here, but I’ll refrain. (link NSFW) As for knowing it’s Christmas time, well, NO, THEY DON’T AND THEY DON’T CARE! The largest organized religion in the northern half of Africa, as it has been since the 700s and the Arab-African trade routes brought about the development of the Swahili language, is Islam. Yes, Islam. More northern and central Africans are Islamic than any other major religion. Now, there are plenty of indigenous religious practices, sure. But as far as organized religion, it’s Islam and nothing else is even close.

(Here's to you) raise a glass for everyone (Here's to them) underneath that burning sun Do they know it's Christmas time at all

So, I’m supposed to toast those dying of heat exhaustion? Is that before or after I thank God it’s them and not me?

Feed the world, feed the world, feed the world Let them know it's Christmas time again

Again, they don’t CARE that it’s Christmas. Are we going to make forced religious conversion a stipulation on receiving food aid now?

Feed the world Let them know it's Christmas time again Feed the world Let them know it's Christmas time again Feed the world Let them know it's Christmas time again Feed the world Let them know it's Christmas time again

That’s assuming they ever knew (or cared) it was Christmas to begin with. On that note…. Merry Christmas. Seriously. And the next time you feel the urge to do something good, do it. Don’t write a bad pop song instead.

Saturday Music Vid Pick - "All Nightmare Long" by Metallica

Metallica - All Nightmare Long


Because you can never get enough of mutant zombie Soviets from outer space...

Santa, I want to bust unions for Christmas!

The Republicans in the Senate have given themselves a big ol' Christmas gift - it's very possible the busted the last of the big manufacturing unions last night when the killed the auto bailout bill.

Senator after Senator bemoaned the fact the auto industry was "shackled" to UAW contracts, and spitting propaganda about auto workers making $74/hour in Detroit. None of it is true, but that didn't stop them from saying it.

From the beginning, this was never about the money and accountability. They gave more than $700 billion to Wall Street and didn't even ask for a receipt. But for $14 billion, the Big 3 practically had to have a plan for how everyone with the word manager in their title was going to brush their teeth in the morning for the next 5 years.

And never mind that it was a bridge loan, and the government would be paid back in interest, unless the $700 billion for Wall Street, where we're HOPING to get money back at some point in the undefined future.

This was all about letting the Big 3 fail and busting the UAW for Republicans. Don't let anyone else tell you different.

Here's the latest lump of coal

From Consumerist.com:

KB Toys has returned to Chapter 11 bankruptcy, says theWall Street Journal, and will be liquidated by its parent company — Prentice Capital Management.

"Going out of business" sales will begin quickly at the chain's 277 retail outlets, 40 larger KB Toy Works stores, 114 outlet stores and 30 temporary "holiday stores."

The WSJ says the liquidation was prompted by a 20% decrease in sales in the second half of this year.

The article had no information about the fate of KB Toys gift cards (though KB Toys website says they have suspended sales of gift cards for the 2008 season) — a detail that is up to the bankruptcy court. Generally, gift card holders are considered "unsecured creditors" unless provisions are made for the store to continue redeeming the cards.

So KB Toys is going out of business, with Circuit City close behind. I still haven't gotten over the fact MOntgomery Ward's doesn't exist anymore, and that's been around 10 years, hasn't it?

Metallica and the Grammys

Normally, I'd rant for days on end about how clueless the Grammy people are about metal and rock. I still remember almost throwing a coffee table into my parents' TV when Jethro Tull won the first Metal Grammy in 1990, just moments after Metallica had just performed.

But not this year - I just don't have time. Instead, I take satisfaction in the fact Metallica has four nominations, specifically:

Best Metal Performance (for My Apocalypse)

Best Rock Instrumental Performance (for Suicide and Redemption)

Best Rock Album (for Death Magnetic)

Best Recording Package (for Death Magnetic - the coffin box is really cool)

and Rick Rubin picks up a nomination for Producer Of The Year, Non-Classical, which he absolutely, positively, must not win. More on why here. Seriously, the CD mastering sounds like crap. Like a 10-year-old held a tape recorder too close to a radio. It's that bad. Don't believe me? Check this out (and click on View in High Quality) and read the article mentioned in the info.

Here's My Apocalypse for your viewing and audio enjoyment.

Four Years Ago This Week

On Dec. 8, 2004, we lost Dimebag Darrell Abbott of Pantera and Damageplan.

The book "A Vulgar Display of Power" chronicles not just the life of Darrell, but also the lives of the other three victims and the shooter at the Alrosa Villa bar in Ohio.

It's still hard to imagine the scene of seeing ex-Marine (and very much mentally ill) Nathan Gale striding on stage and pointing a gun in Abbott's chest and pulling the trigger, let alone the carnage that followed. Columbus Police Office James Niggemeyer's prompt response onto the scene (less than 2 minutes after the first 911 cell phone call) and action once on the scene saved more than a few others that night.

But music lost a giant that night. You may not have heard of Panetra, but to millions of metalheads in the very early 1990s, they were one of the few bands speaking for them. Metallica had sold out with "Enter Sandman" and "The Black Album," and hair metal had killed off any attention real metal should have gotten. Grunge was just getting started in a big way in Seattle, and suddenly flannel and Kurt Cobain were everywhere.

But in 1994, just as everyone was writing off metal, Pantera unleashed "Far Beyond Driven." Suddenly, the little band from Texas that no one thought anyone else knew had the hardest metal CD to ever debut at #1 on the Billboard Top 200 Albums chart. 

Personally, "Vulgar Display of Power" remains my favorite. And Darrell's post-Pantera project, Damageplan, still makes its way onto my iPod from time to time. But an argument can be made that "Far Beyond Driven" was the CD that saved metal in the mid-1990s.

So, have a Black Tooth Grin at a bar near you, lean over to the guy in a denim jacket next to ya, and raise a toast to Dimebag Darrell. Getcha Pull!

/Hey, I made it through this whole post without mentioning what a tool singer Phil Anselmo is! Oh, wait...

Today's bumper sticker of the Apocalypse

I know it's tough to read with my crappy RAZR cameraphone image but the bumper sticker carries this message:

Bring Back Ehrlich

Maybe he can get Andy Harris to return the favor and endorse him and campaign for him. After all, it worked so well the first time...

Hey, life happens

Sorry I haven't posted much the last few days - between Thanksgiving at the in-laws, working for my cousin the rest of the weekend, and a great Bennett Middle School band concert tonight, well, time's been tight.

I'll make it up the rest of this week, I swear.